Bitterly serving Satan!

Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters, Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

I just had a lesson in this today, from God’s Word.

For the past week I have been miserable, feeling far from God and empty. The reasons are, my grandma died and left all her money and home etc to some neighbors instead of the family and my parents could have really used the help, when it came to money and emotional support, my grandma was not nice to the family and never helped anyone, but when we came to visit she acted like we were the light in her world. I have been looking for a job the past year and a half with nothing so far. God moved us to a town where my daughter is not happy at school.

I have always been able to be content and see the blessings in the midst of the dark parts, but since grandma died and she hurt my family one last time, I have been bitter. I have focused on the negative and became miserable. I wanted to give up on this Christian walk and just go back into survival mode. I am sick of seeing non believers prosper, receiving opportunities and things hand over fist. God showed me in Matt 6:24 today that I am focusing on the enemy and the darkness.

I feel so much better today, I am back on the road of being content and knowing that God let all these things happen for reasons we may never know, but we can trust that they are for our good.

Now my thinking is better. I was able to take my grandma through the salvation message before she died and pray with her to receive the Spirit and teach her what repentance is. The home God provided is free while I get on my feet and it’s in a community where I can relate from my past and bring the light into the darkness. My daughter might not like her school but it’s only because she hasn’t made any good friends yet, but the opportunities are there, so maybe she just needs to have more of an open heart about it.

The non believers who seem to get everything, will only get that. They will never be content and will be forever enslaved to getting. They are miserable and the only time they aren’t is when they get something and then that wears off or runs out and they have to search again. 

Having a grateful heart for what we do have really makes a difference in being content and having Joy.

I am so sorry that I had an ungrateful heart and became bitter over something that doesn’t even bring me peace. I love God and all He has done for us, I can never give that up for anything in this world. 

When I serve God I am so happy there are no words to explain it. As I was serving Satan this week, I saw that I couldn’t have been more miserable.

Idols from the dead!!!!

My grandma finally passed away. I was blessed with the opportunity to go and take her through the gospel/salvation message. We talked about how saying you believe in Jesus is not the same as believing in your heart and being born again. She wanted to pray for the Spirit and so we did. I spoke to her about repenting but don’t know if she was in the frame of mind to do so. I guess I won’t know if she is in Heaven until I get there and see for myself. 

In our family there has been a problem with idolizing humans and then when they die, they are still worshiped and control the family.

My grandpa died when I was 5 years old and the family fell apart. Grandma idolized and lived for grandpa the whole rest of her life. She stayed in a house she couldn’t take care of and isolated herself there, living in this fantasy land that she built for herself. She lived out 0% of her purpose here on earth. She lived for a dead man and lost relationship with most of her family members. 

We went many years at a time without seeing her because my mom couldn’t stand the abuse. My grandma wouldn’t listen when my mom tried to tell her how she felt and just believed my mom was evil for not talking to her at times, because she really believed she didn’t do anything wrong. 

This was the same type of situation with my great grandma. It’s called generational curses. Take a look at what you didn’t like about your parent and more than likely you are doing the same thing.

When I met God, I broke these things, I saw my faults and what I was doing to my daughter. God broke the curses, but I had to admit and repent of my sin. He has changed and restored me and my daughter. I am so thankful for this. 

I will never idolize the dead or the living, nobody but God will control me or my moods. I am living out my purpose and it is so fulfilling. 

I pray the curses can be broken in others in the family also. If you are living for another human being, you are idolizing them. You will never live out God’s purpose for you. 

Is a person who is dead or alive worth missing out on so much?

 

To Glorify Him with an eager heart!

Isaiah 43:7 everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

1 Corinthians 10:31-33  So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ³² Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— ³³ even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

Glory is high honor won by notable achievements. We are to glorify God in all we do. When we are Christ-like that is a notable achievement aimed at God. 

We are all sinners and deserve NO glory. The things I have done in my life, the changes in me were only because of God in my life. He does deserve the glory, I am just able to share in it, but it’s not in the form of glory, it’s confidence, Joy, Peace, Thankfulness, a willing heart, eagerness for more. 

God created us for His Glory, so if we are out there on our own trying to get that job, that car, that relationship etc, who are we going to glorify if we receive it?

If you are out trying to glorify yourself you aren’t living out what you were created to do. There is only temporary happiness in that kind of glory. Glorifying God brings everlasting JOY.

In my MK, (by the way I already have an event this Saturday that God just dropped into my lap) I wasn’t succeeding in the past, I think because I was trying to figure it out on my own and the main purpose at the time was having my own business and making money. Yes, I prayed God please help me, guide me etc, but I wasn’t really depending on Him. I finally gave up and decided I was going to drop it and move forward, then all the sudden I got this passion and drive that is insatiable. God gave me focus bigger than myself, it’s to also help women and children who are abused, that is actually THE purpose and all other things will fall into place. He is using my past to help the future. 

Anyone who knows me or hears my story will see God, because I was so fearful in my life, I was paralyzed with fear, I would never have even attempted all these new things I do in my life if there wasn’t God’s Power changing me. To Him be ALL the glory.

This is why others are drawn to Christians, they see something different and are intrigued by it. They know these things seemed impossible, yet they are happening. This is how others are saved. We don’t save them by our doing, but by glorifying God so that others see Him in us. 

So I guess we would have to ask ourselves, with an open heart, if the things we do are really to honor and glorify God or ourselves?

Am I just going through the motions of obedience or is there a deeper need and desire to do so?

 

 

The Living Word

John 1: 14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

This verse hit me today. It is about Jesus. The Word is the Bible, it became flesh (Jesus) and made His dwelling among us, even now through the Holy Spirit. 

That’s why the Bible is ALIVE, it is a living, breathing, for lack of better words, book. You can read it a million times and each time something new can become ALIVE to you. It all depends on when God wants to open your eyes to it in your own life. It doesn’t mean the meaning of it changes, the meaning of it in your life, your situation changes.

I re read my blog about my friend being beat and the Scripture God gave me for her became ALIVE for me TODAY. 

Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

I was asking God the other day to let me know what I was going to do for a living. I took the verse above meaning He wasn’t answering my specific question yet. Today as I read it again, it hit me, He opened my eyes to it today. He used it to also answer my question. 

I also was victim to many abuses and it took my worth from me. God delivered me from all that pain and gave me new worth and purpose. Now through Mary Kay He can use it for His glory. Mary Kay is a huge tool to use to witness to women in so many different ways. Inner beauty, healing from abuse, it’s all about worth and shame being in proper perspective. 

I also told God when I had this revelation of being serious about my business, that this would be huge in the trust area, because I would be depending on Him providing through this business, so I can provide for my family without a guaranteed wage. The 21st verse says I will provide for you and your children………

I am even stronger today about Mary Kay as my calling. He turned everything around, everything everyone meant to harm me with, God is now using to save others. 

Wow…………………..

Another victory through a painful situation!

I don’t even know what Scripture to use for this, there are so many. Scriptures that would go with this are trusting God, being transformed, being healed, being victorious. 

I have been in Mary Kay for 2 years now and have done nothing with it due to my fear of approaching others about it. I mainly use it to get my products half off. The only reason I joined was because I knew God was telling me that I was going to lose my job and to join Mary Kay to replace it. So I did.

I did lose my job and have been on unemployment for almost a year and a half, with no success in finding a job. I had made the decision last week to just forget Mary Kay. I thought maybe it was just one of those doors God opened to see if I would obey and then shut. 

I have been praying to God telling Him I need a structured way to get out there and motivation. 

Since my friend was beaten by her boyfriend (see last blog) I have found my motivation. God not only used that situation to give her hope and a future but He also did that for me. 

Mary Kay funds many different causes and one of them is to help women and children survivors of domestic violence. I want to support that cause through my business now. The motivation I have now is strong, I even feel determined enough to not take no as an answer. This business is now about something bigger than me. Supporting my family and having my own business wasn’t enough to motivate me.

I plan on getting organized with the help of my director and hitting up companies to let me in and promote this business to help heal and empower women who have been so badly hurt by the ones they love. 

God is so amazing. He answers every prayer we cry out to Him, in His perfect timing. I have 3 months left on unemployment so this timing couldn’t have been better. 

I will keep you posted on my progress and hope to tell you good news. If not though, it is okay because I have already been changed just by what He has done so far. 

I never dreamed in my past because my worth was so low from abuse, so to even dream that I can do this, is progress in it’s own. 

Beaten by the one you love!

Genesis 50:20-21 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. 

Wow, where to begin. Some of you know I met someone who God told me to help. I took this woman into my home and helped her to get away from her abusive boyfriend, he was abusive in every way but physical. Well, he sweet talked her into giving him another chance, saying he was going to Church, Bible studies and counseling etc. She fell for it like so many women do and he beat the crap out of her Friday night. 

He was arrested and charged with strangulation, suffocation, battery, and disorderly conduct. He was somehow released today. 

She came to me and I just held her in my arms as she cried. I brought her to a woman at our Church who has been helping her also, we prayed and made calls, she got a spot in a shelter, still close to his home though. We called some more places today and she found another spot pretty far away. It is much nicer, and God even thought of all the little details, for example, they have a zumba wii (she loves zumba), there is also a woman who loves reading her Bible staying there. 

I was meditating today asking God what I am going to do for a job and He gave me the verse above for her instead (: I am guessing that means He is telling me to wait on my answer. 

She also lost her children in her divorce because her ex was abusive and she had to run from him and by the time she got the nerve to go back for her kids, he went to court saying she abandoned them and he got custody. So she wants her kids back also. 

So the verse above spoke to her big time and she just cried out of Joy for what God is promising her from His Word. 

God is so amazing. His Spirit is awesome. When you see  woman who was just beat jumping up and down about being in a shelter, you know she is a born again Christian. His Joy over powers everything else. The excitement of her future healing and what He is going to use her for is beyond compare to anything in this world. 

The purpose God has brought into my life with the women He has brought to me is amazing. For Him to trust me enough to bring His broken daughters to ME makes me speechless. It shows me that I have grown and healed so much. I never would have thought I would be the woman I am today. 

One last thing, I was feeling her pain after this happened, I thought initially that it was my feelings from past situations coming back and that I wasn’t healed from my pain. I realized though that it was empathy, because I can relate, I have felt that pain. I cried for her pain and then I was fine. It is good to remember where you came from so you don’t lose that compassion. 

The hardest part in a situation like that is the emotional pain of being hurt that badly by the one person you wanted to love the rest of your life, that you loved with all your heart. 

I thought of Jesus on his way to the cross, being beat beyond recognition. I thought of how He must have felt, the deep sadness, that the ones He loves so much hurt Him so badly. He died on a cross for us after all we do against Him (John 3:16). I flogged Him with my sin and what He did for me was give me real LIFE, HEALING and so much PURPOSE. 

There are no words…………..

Who is your Father?

John 8:44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

So you all know there is a neighbor who I have gotten to know and talked with him about God on our many rides to school when he has missed his bus. 

He told me on our last trip that his dad was coming home from the military, he looked so happy about this. I thought “great, maybe he will bring structure to the home”. 

Well, this man has been home for a couple weeks now, and there is no structure, it is worse. 

I stand on my porch and hear loud talking, Nigger this, bitches that. The smell of pot wafts past my nose as beer bottles clank together. 

Music is blasting until well past 10 on a school night.

I remember those days, not missing them one bit. I remember how I thought I was doing nothing wrong but now I know better. I would not take back that bondage for anything. My daughter commented on how that used to be our house, I said “I know, Praise God it isn’t anymore”. 

This morning I was blasting my Worship music as usual, trying to fill my daughters mind with strength, love, and power before she goes to school. When I took the dog out I heard my music floating through the air. I thought I should turn it down because I don’t want to disturb others sleeping. 

The human part of me of course said, they blast their music late at night, why should I care? The bigger part of me said that two wrongs don’t make a right. 

It dawned on me then, I am worshiping God in the morning just like they are worshiping Satan at night. 

That’s a scary thought, worshiping Satan? It’s scary to even think I participated in that. I had no clue what I was doing, no clue where I was headed. 

Many people say they believe in Jesus and Love Him, believing they are going to Heaven when they die. God says to prove it though and we will see it in the fruits that we bare. I guarantee my neighbors would say they believe also, the young man I talk to wasn’t a stranger to who God is. 

We resemble our Fathers in our actions though. It’s all about proof. God didn’t say He loved us, He proved it. 

Who do your actions say your Father is? Do they prove God is, or is that just talk?