Titus 2:3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.
So most of you know I was an alcoholic. God delivered me from some things immediately when I was born again, however drinking was not one of those things. I had gone a year without and hardly ever thought about it, but over the past year it crept back in. This time in the form of wine instead of hard liquor. It has been a daily struggle, like being tortured and imprisoned within myself.
I have screamed out to God asking what I am not understanding. His Spirit in within me, yet I do what I don’t want to do.
He has brought me into a new round of healing something from my childhood, by joining a community group. Friday was the first group and we were given Scripture to read. Mine was the verse above. My body jolted when I read that, it’s like I was caught, like a little kid getting caught by their dad when doing something wrong.
I knew God was telling me to stop. I got mad and asked Him how He expected me to stop now, when He was bringing me into the most intense healing I will probably ever experience. He told me that He wanted “all of me”, He wants to be my only comfort in this piece.
Then my heart melted because the God of the universe, the creator of all we see wants to hold my hand and walk this healing with me.
I woke up the next morning and felt like a close friend died. I was mourning the death of alcohol. Although it is still down the road, to me it’s like it died and no longer exists here.
I asked God if I am delivered or if I am just having a good couple days?
This morning in Church they let us come up and speak a psalm. I asked God what one I should read. I opened right up to Psalm 18 and walked up. As I read I cried and spoke with power, knowing He was telling me that I have been delivered.
Psalm 18:16-19 He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
For almost 4 years I have struggled in this battle, feeling like a failure and like I was wasting time, God’s time.
It took Him 1 verse to change all of it. It was in His time. There is no way anybody could make the mistake of thinking that I have done this myself. None of the past 4 years was a waste, it was God’s perfect timing. I persevered and endured, I ran this part of my race and will continue to. Nothing is wasted or without reason.